It is often a minor detail that sets it off. Tonight, it was the subtle sound of pages clinging together when I reached for a weathered book placed too near the window pane. It's a common result of humidity. I found myself hesitating for a long moment, methodically dividing each page, and his name drifted back to me, softly and without warning.
There is something enigmatic about figures of such respect. They are not frequently seen in the public eye. One might see them, yet only from a detached viewpoint, transmitted through anecdotes, reminiscences, and partial quotations whose origins have become blurred over time. My knowledge of Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw seems rooted in his silences. Without grandiosity, without speed, and without the need for clarification. Those missing elements convey a deeper truth than most rhetoric.
I recall an occasion when I inquired about him. Not directly, not in a formal way. Just a casual question, as if I were asking about the weather. My companion nodded, smiled gently, and noted “Ah, Sayadaw… he possesses great steadiness.” There was no further explanation given. In that instance, I felt a minor sense of disappointment. Looking back, I realize the answer was ideal.
It is now mid-afternoon where I sit. The day is filled with a muted, unexceptional light. I’m sitting on the floor instead of the chair for no real reason. Maybe my back wanted a different kind of complaint today. I am reflecting on the nature of steadiness and how seldom it is found. Wisdom is often praised, but steadiness feels like the more arduous path. It is easy to admire wisdom from a distance. Steadiness, however, must be embodied in one's daily existence.
The life of Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw spanned an era of great upheaval. Shifts in the political and social landscape, alongside the constant flux of rebuilding which defines the historical arc of modern Burma. Nevertheless, discussions about him rarely focus on his views or stances. They emphasize his remarkable consistency. He served as a stationary reference point amidst a sea of change I am uncertain how such stability can be achieved without becoming dogmatic. That level of balance seems nearly impossible to maintain.
There is a particular moment that keeps recurring in my mind, even though I cannot verify if the memory matches the reality. A bhikkhu meticulously and slowly adjusting his attire, as if he were entirely free from any sense of urgency. It might have been another individual, not Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw. The mind often fuses different individuals in memory. But the underlying feeling stayed with me. That impression of not being hurried by external pressures.
I often ask myself what the cost of that specific character might be. Not in a grand sense, but in the mundane daily sacrifices. The quiet sacrifices that don’t look like sacrifices from the outside. Choosing not to engage in certain conversations. Allowing misconceptions to go uncorrected. Allowing people to see in you whatever they require Whether he reflected on these matters is unknown to me. Perhaps he was free of such concerns, and maybe that's the key.
There is a layer of dust on my hands from the paper. I remove read more the dust without much thought. Composing this reflection feels somewhat gratuitous, but in a good way. Not all reflections need to serve a specific purpose. Sometimes, the simple act of acknowledgement is enough. that specific lives leave a profound imprint. never having sought to explain their own nature. I perceive Tharmanay Kyaw Sayadaw in exactly that way. An influence that is experienced rather than analyzed, as it should be.